Tuesday, August 18, 2009

One Heartbeat at a Time

Firstly, I want to thank Alan for this post. It's a timely reminder that this post is long overdue.

Jas and I used to say "I Love You" to each other everyday. I would kiss her and tell her I love her before I leave for work every morning, failing which would invoke a myriad of teases from her for the rest of the day for forgetting to do so. We would end off every phone conversation with these 3 words. It was important to me cos' I have this somewhat morbid idea that every conversation could be the last and I wanted to make sure that those were the last words she heard from me. However, since the arrival of the kids, we find ourselves reserving those words for them instead of each other. I don't think we mean to, it's just natural for parents neglect their partners especially when the children are so much more adorable.

So, I would like to dedicate this post to my beautiful wife, who has never ceased to capture my heart every waking day.

Hunny,
I want to let you know that I appreciate you for all the sacrifices you have made for me. You are a wonderful wife, lover and most of all, my best friend. You always see the best in me and I am a better person because of your love. Our children can never dream of having a better mother for a better care-giver and teacher there is none. Nothing I do or say can ever make up for what you have given up for the family. I only hope that you will always find delight in my love and the adoration of our children. I will always be grateful for the fact that I am loved by you and there is no one else I'd rather grow old with.

I hope you find encouragement in this song by Steven Curtis Chapman. In this season of our lives when chaos and screaming babies are the only certainty in our household, I pray that you never lose sight of this simple truth - You are Beautiful.



One Heartbeat at a Time
You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every, "I know you can do it"
And every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain, over time they become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful, so beautiful
How you're changing the world
How you're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch
And every smile

Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Our First As Parents

My in-laws went on a short holiday a couple of weeks ago, so I took leave to help Jas with the kids and engage in some family bonding activities. Boy...we had a bonding experience alright but just not the way we would have planned.

I'll save the details for some other time but in a nutshell, here's what happened:

Mummy got the flu...

...followed by David....

...David's fever got really high and Mommy got worried...

...We had problems administering parecetamol to David and fever went up even more, Daddy also got worried...

...Admitted David into the hospital to get the experts to help bring his fever down, now less worried...

...Daddy also go the flu, nobody seems worried....

...Nai Nai took leave to help look after Cherise, one thing less to worry...

...David got better and got discharged, Daddy got worse and Mummy took charge...

...David started having stuffy nose that affected his nursing, Mummy started to worry again...

...Cherise started having slight fever, everyone begining to worry...

...Used 3 different thermometers on Cherise and all showed very different readings, not helping with the worrying bit...

...Cherise still very active, so nothing to worry...

...Start of new week, Daddy needs to go to work, Mummy really needs to rest, kids need attention...

That's the gist of it.

Some may consider such events a rite of passage for any parent, but that does not mean that it is an easy thing to watch one baby getting poked by needles while worrying about who is going to look after the other one. And having both parents ill at the same time is not helping the situation at all. However, there were a few things that made the whole ordeal a lot manageable:

1) Grand-parents - whom without their help (physically and financially) we would have been a lot more stressed out.
2) Friends - who offered to do our household marketing for us while we rested at home...for the record, they did it in the midst of their family retreat!! Thanks Des and XL!
3) Carecell Members - for covering us in prayer and offering to help us tangibly.
4) Family - concerned uncles and aunts who covered us in prayer.

Thank God the bug has run its course and we've recovered from it.

And just as we thought things were back to normal (it's an oxymoron actually cos' nothing is ever normal with 2 kids!!!) we had a new battle to fight....Cherise came down with fever and diarrhea caused by enterovirus. Imagine our relief when the doctor told us it was not HFMD. However, it was still contagious - transmitted through contact, so we had to disinfect the entire house especially the kids' play area so that it does not spread to David. We also had to stop Cherise from getting near to her brother - not easy because she is really affectionate towards him. Well, thank God the fever and diarrhea has stopped, now we have to start stuffing her with food again to help her gain back the weight lost when she was sick.

It's the start of a new week tomorrow, I wonder what surprises we're gonna get this time....

Monday, May 25, 2009

More

Cherise

I read somewhere (can't quite remember, and so I quote loosely) that a sibling is a net positive for the family. But this statement then implies that a sibling would be a net negative for someone in same family - and would that someone be the elder sibling/s?

We've been having trouble at bedtime for the past few nights. Daytime, she is the model big sister. Sweet and caring, her antics make us laugh. Just the other day, David was fussing in his rocker, and she came up to him and said, with both arms reaching out towards him, "Oh, oh, come, come, come, Mommy carry!" Adrian and I laughed and laughed. "So, she thinks she's the Mommy now, eh?" I joked.

But things aren't so funny at bedtime. It's as if the quiet of nighttime and the lack of distraction takes the lid off suppressed emotions, and suddenly, it's meltdown time. The first night, she cried for half an hour, saying "Mommy sayang" over and over and over again - even though she was perched on my lap. It broke my heart to see her clutching me tightly, and it was as if my hugs and kisses and her clutching couldn't bridge the distance she felt. The second night, Daddy got his turn. He dozed off as she dozed off, but suddenly she awoke and it was "Daddy sayang" as well, clutching his hair and kissing him and crying all at the same time. And just now, as I patted her and sang to her, all of a sudden her eyes filled with tears and her little mouth turned down at the corners. A little girl doing the big girl thing and trying hard not to cry.

What's going on? We think she misses us. It's hard on her, I think, to go from having Mommy and Daddy 100% of our free time, to maybe 50%/60% instead. Especially since Mommy was there all the time from the start. Nowadays, Mommy sometimes disappears. Sometimes for quite long. And where Mommy is these days, there's someone else too - another baby.

***

David

We thank God that he's such an easy baby. So much easier than his sister was at the same age. So easy that sometimes, we're guilty of exploiting that easiness. While Cherise was pretty much a "sling baby" who couldn't be put down and so got the benefit of being in our arms a lot, David spends a lot less time being carried. Oh, it's not that he doesn't like being carried - I'm sure all babies love the physical closeness and the vantage point - but he's pretty ok lying down on his own. And so, because we're always so tired, and because there's always another needy child to attend to, he's always lying down whenever he'll tolerate it.

Are we shortchanging him, I wonder? We rarely carry him for the sheer pleasure of it. Tired arms and tired minds. But that's no excuse, is it?

When we go out as a family, Adrian plays chauffeur and the rest of us squeeze in the back - me sandwiched between two car seats. Cherise is demanding - wants this item and that, wants this story read, wants that sticker book, wants that biscuit/raisin... the list goes on. And David, well, he just sits in his car seat, looks wonderingly around. On our last trip out, I was busy doing the usual with Cherise, when I took a quick glance at him and saw that he was staring at me intently. Really staring at me. Here I was, so busy and ignoring him, and there he was, just sweetly looking at me.

This morning was rather hectic. Both of them woke at the same time. I left him on the bed while I busied myself with Cherise. Changed her diaper and got her out of her jammies as fast as I could while our helper got her breakfast. I think he was alone a good ten minutes. But he didn't cry. Not even a squawk. I went back into the room to find a cheerful baby and he smiled at me. Gave me his first social smile.

Guilt. God's given me the sweetest little boy, and I'm too busy to do right by him.

***

So tell me how to be More. I need More. More of myself. More of myself to give. More of a Mommy to Cherise, and More of a Mommy to David. And if Adrian were the complaining sort, he'd probably need More of a wife too. And he'd be justified, I think.

The ridiculous musings of a tired mind:
If I cloned myself, then they'd each have a Mommy. Maybe me and the cloned Mommy could take turns with each of them. Maybe Adrian would need a clone too. Would they be able to tell the difference? Would the cloned Mommy breastfeed too? Do they even clone Mommies??

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Happy Mother's Day



So what if it isn't a real flower.
So what if she didn't make it herself.
So what if her little chubby hands clutched and pressed until the petals were wrinkled and the stem was twisted.

She walked through the door and said, "Mommy, a present for you!"

It's the most beautiful flower in the world.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The First Month - We Survived (Just Barely)!

Part I:

The First Two Weeks went by fairly quickly - too quickly, in fact, for me. Adrian was on leave to help out at home, and things were pretty smooth sailing as we all adjusted to having a newborn at home. David was feeding well, gaining weight and filling out. His jaundice was clearing up by the 10th day, but then again, the serum bilirubin levels were never really high to begin with.

I soon got the hang of changing his diaper - although I must say, it's really a lot more stressful than changing Cherise's diaper! I mean, hey, there's a time limit here! Don't take too long, quick wipe wipe not so clean never mind tick tock tick tock close up diaper before he p.. oops too late. The day before Adrian was due back at work, David blessed us with what Adrian and I will always remember as the "poo incident". A poo like no other. I was changing his diaper alone (thought I was pretty zai by then), preparing to head out to the airport to see my sister off. I lifted his bum to wipe when suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, whoosh! out flew (and I mean flew) a stream of projectile poop! I think it must have been the angle (you know, physics, 45 degrees and the projectile attains greatest horizontal distance yadda yadda) at which I was lifting his bum, but he should have won, or at least been in the running for, the prize for the furthest flying poop. It flew over a metre. Hit the two trolley organisers in which we keep Cherise's and David's clothes. Yes, hit them both. Hit the clothes in the trolleys. Hit the wall behind the two trolleys. Would probably have gone further if not for the wall. Needless to say, we were late going to the airport. The amount of cleanup to be done was mind-blowing. Part of his flying poop hit my hand. I can still remember - it felt warm. Eww.

Humorous incidents aside, I spent the first two weeks in a funny kind of emotional roller coaster. Happy to have Adrian at home, enjoying getting acquainted with David, and yet, weepy and consumed with guilt when it came to Cherise. I fretted that I wasn't spending enough time with her. She was the perfect big sister - not an ounce of jealousy. Loved kissing him and kept asking me to carry him. But I fretted - "I think she misses me, she must be missing me." "I miss her so much!" "She's looking at me - I think she misses me! I think she feels jealous but she's too good to ask!" I felt guilty - guilty that I had to spend all this time with the newborn, and not with Cherise. And I was sad that I couldn't do lots of things which I used to do with her - like feed her, bathe her, put her to bed... Things which Adrian now got to do. She grew closer to her daddy, it was "Daddy baobao" now, not "Mommy baobao" anymore. And each night as I cuddled her while she slept I cried at the loss I felt. And Adrian would roll his eyes at me.

Part II:

The Next Two Weeks was just plain exhaustion. Whatever guilt I felt went out the window. No time for guilt. No energy for guilt. No energy for feeling anything. My days flew by in a flurry of pee, poop and milk. Adrian was back at work, and we (the rest of us) spent our day times camped out at my mom's place, which is, thankfully, just the next block.

David is one gassy baby. A gassy baby with a sluggish digestive system. Unlike his sister who would religiously poop after every feed, David grunts and groans his discomfort until the huge (stored) poop comes out. Usually this grunting and groaning goes on for hours. More specifically, between the hours of 5 and 8. AM. It's like, he needs to poop to get comfortable, but he can't because he's too sleepy. Terrible. And his grunting is so loud it wakes everyone up. Even my helper says she can hear him from the kitchen. So we've been starting earlier and earlier in the mornings because Cherise gets woken up by noisy David. One day she even got up at 630am. My day starts when he starts his "music". I carry him out of the room so that Cherise doesn't wake up, and I walk around and basically do all sorts of things to get him comfortable but really, nothing works till he poops the big one.

So I've been really sleep-deprived. We all have been. But we made it. And things are settling down somewhat.

At my mom's place, even though I'm busy with David most of the time, I get short breaks when my mom takes over, and I get to sit and play with Cherise for a while. Sometimes, I feed her lunch. Sometimes, I join her during her morning bath and splash her with water as she tries to splash me back. I don't get to cuddle her to sleep, but I get to cuddle her when she wakes up from her afternoon nap. Adrian comes to pick us up when he gets home in the evenings, and it's a happy reunion. We have dinner, then we have Family Bath Time. We all take our baths from 8 to 9pm. No, not all together, but well, we bathe David first, then I shower, then Cherise and lastly Adrian. Then supper for the little girl and it's off to bed. Adrian and I will argue over who gets to put Cherise to bed. Usually I win. So I cuddle her and sing songs and pray our prayers - all those things we used to do together, while Adrian gets to carry David around (bonding with his son, I call it), and it's nice and sweet as we girls drop off to dreamland together.

And then we wake up the next day (don't forget the night-time nursings and diaper changes!) and do it all again.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Noisy Baby

In my description of David, I mentioned that he makes funny noises like a grumpy old man. He does it in his sleep, when we carry him, when he is unhappy...basically he does it all the time. Not convinced? Hear it for yourself.

Now, I'm not trying to brag about our abilities but the truth is, Jas and I are pretty decent in the singing department. David's squawking and grunting are beginning to make us wonder..."Happy Feet"???

It's ok son...go ahead...make a joyful noise unto the Lord!

Birth Story - Daddy's Point of View

If I have one word to describe David's birth, it would be this: Back-Breaking.

No...really...at the end of the whole thing, I could hardly stand up straight and my feet hurt like crazy. No wonder doulas charge ridiculous fees for their work, it's quite a task, considering I merely did a tiny fraction of what they would do. Not that I didn't enjoy the whole process though.

Jasmine made it very clear from the start of the pregnancy that she wanted this time to be as natural as possible. I was all for the idea (can save money mah ha ha!!!) and I offered to do whatever I could to aid in the process. However, I had to draw the line when she wanted a home birth - can you imagine the cost of replacing our laminated flooring if it gets stained by all the you-know-what?!?! Anyway, she then later toyed with the idea of engaging a doula to assist in the birth but I was not very keen because I really wanted to be a lot more involved this time round. Ok, confession time: I was quite useless the last time cos' while Jasmine was agonising in pain, I was blissfully snoring away in the labour ward...model husband right? Anyway, Jasmine was kind enough to accommodate my request to make amends this time round but not without making me go through a series of literature on how to be a labour coach. I had to spend most of my night duties reading the materials on the Labour Coach's Notebook which she printed out for me.

Well, reading about the various coaching techniques was easy, executing them was anything but. What used to work suddenly got on her nerves. I had to change from one massaging technique to another because she suddenly didn't like to be touched in a particular way, I had to contort my body into positions I never knew I could so that I could support her as she writhed in pain, I never got to sit down because she felt more comfortable in the arm chair that was meant for me (and I refused to sit on the floor, knowing what often ends up on said floor)... the list goes on. In the midst of everything, I suddenly forgot how to identify the stages of labour so I didn't even realise when she actually went into transition. Before I knew it, she was ready to push and I could not even let go of her for 1 second to turn the TV off (yes, I'm a TV addict).

It was a tiring affair indeed, but you know what, it felt great! It felt great to be so involved in the process. It felt great looking into her eyes as I helped her to control her pushing. It felt even greater looking at her sigh of relief when they placed David on her chest. It felt great knowing that we did it together. Yeah, I know that what I went through was nothing compared to what Jasmine had to go through. But if you compare this labour with the previous one, this was a big deal to me.

For the record, I really respect Jasmine for having the guts to go through it with no pain relief whatsoever. Honestly, I was expecting her to cave in and ask for something, but she didn't. Maybe it helped that I told her due to the shortage of rooms, we had no choice but to upgrade to a deluxe room which meant that we had no budget for any extras... ha ha. Jokes aside, my wife was really brave and I love her so much more for it. I don't think I have that kind of threshold.

As for me, the icing on the cake was that I got to cut the cord this time...wow...I want to do it again...if The Mammy is agreeable.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Birthstory!

Long overdue post! Here's little David's birthstory:

At 39 weeks (6th April), I was feeling rather depressed. No sign that anything was happening and the physical exhaustion was making it hard to get up in the mornings. I left Cherise with my parents and headed out to make myself feel better. Went for a pre-delivery makeover - cut my hair, had a facial and massage. Thought maybe I was too tense for labour to start.

True enough, after the massage and all, I had the show at 3am (7th April), and contractions were ten minutes apart. By 9am, they were 6 minutes apart. I really didn't want to go to the hospital because I wanted to labour at home as long as possible, but the gynae's office receptionist told me to hurry down as it was my second child and things could happen rather quickly. So at 11am, we saw the gynae and he said I was 3cm dilated. He gave me two options - he could check me into the hospital or I could choose to labour at home. As I was hoping for as natural a birth as possible this time round, I chose not to stay in the hospital as it would leave me with nothing to do but focus on the pain.

So we went for lunch at United Square, hoping the walking would speed things up a bit. The contractions were painful enough now so that I couldn't really talk nor walk during one, but I still managed to get some shopping done. (It's amazing - the woman's capacity to shop under all circumstances...)

At 3pm, we were back at Thomson Medical Centre, this time to stay. At this point, I must add that I think we picked a wonderful doctor this time round. He's got a reputation for being very pro-natural, and this was reflected in the way the nurses at the labour ward treated me. The first question they asked, upon finding out who my doctor was, was, "Do you have a birth plan?" I replied no, but this gave me the opportunity to state that I only had one request - that I not be chained strapped confined to the bed during labour. I was also offered the room with the tub (for women who wanted to labour in water) but I turned it down. I did ask for a birth ball (which I never got to buy) but it wasn't available at that time.

I think the attitude of the nurses set the tone for the whole labour process. I had options, hence I felt in control. So different from the last time when I was hustled and bundled and strapped into bed and left there to suffer. I spent the next few hours keeping active, working through my contractions, which weren't half as bad as they were with Cherise. Adrian was a fantastic labour coach - the poor guy massaged my back between contractions, fed me milo when I got hungry, let me lean into his nice tummy when the pain got too much to bear...

At around 6 plus (I didn't note the time), I felt that things were different. I told Adrian to get the nurses, who did hustle me into bed this time, and found that I was 6 to 7cm dilated already. My waters broke, and things happened really quickly now - I kept wanting to push, but the nurses wouldn't let me, not till the doctor arrived, and once he did, David was out in a matter of minutes! Adrian said 3 pushes, I think. Really fast. So our little boy arrived at 6.51pm, 7th April 2009. Here's a video of his first moments:



It was a wonderful experience. If I had any idea of what to expect, I would have wanted it this way. I didn't labour too long in the hospital, and it was as natural a process as it could be. I didn't take any pain relief meds at all, and nobody poked any needles into me. My waters were allowed to break naturally, and I didn't have an episiotomy. Maybe next time I'll try a homebirth! (If there is a next time..)

Thank you - those who were praying with us, and praise God for His hand in all this - from conception to delivery and thereafter!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

David - The Arrival...

Hi everyone, sorry this came really late. Thought I'd better update everyone before it really becomes water under the bridge....

After waiting for a long 39 weeks, our son is finally here! Everyone, say hello to the latest addition to our family - David Nathaniel Loh.
David and Daddy
Here is his biodata:
Date of Arrival: 7th of April 2009
Time: at 6:51pm
Weight: 3.04 kg
Length: 50 cm
Head Circumference: 34 cm

Ok, 4D punters may go crazy with the numbers now, just make sure you remember us when you strike it.

More about his birth story later, we're still trying to get the hang of dealing with a new born and a 20 month old hyper active girl at the same time. Not easy, but as usual, God is good. Give us a little more time adjusting to our new roles and I promise we'll update soon. Lot's of things to share with everyone!

In the meantime, thanks for your prayers and love!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Our Day at the Zoo

As part of our 2 Day wedding anniversary celebration, I took Jas and Cherise for our long awaited visit to the Zoo. My company signed up for the friends of the zoo corporate membership, so it allows me to bring the family in for free. We get discounts for food and merchandise purchases as well! Anyway, after countless unsuccessful bids to get hold of the membership card from the admin department, I finally managed to loan it out for a few days. We initially wanted to go on Wednesday, but since we could not get anyone to baby sit on Thursday, we decided go on Thursday instead.

We planned to start the day early so that we can squeeze in more activities before it gets too hot for us, but somehow the night was not restful for Cherise (hence similarly for us), so we ended up sleeping in and having a late start at about 11am. Jas and I cannot remember when was the last time we visited the zoo. All we know is that the place has changed quite a bit and as a local, I must say that I'm very impressed with the improvements made to this attraction.

Like most kids, Cherise LOVED the animals. It helped that she recognises some of them...everytime, she saw something that she knew she went, "wah..bunky (monkey), wah...tiger, wah...giraffe, wah...ohdile (crocodile), wah...torti (tortise)...big!" As expected, every species of bear is a teddy bear, and anything that walks on four legs and resembles a canine is a dog. She had a lot of fun mimicking the sounds of the animals and didn't seem to mind the stench coming from the animal droppings...unlike mommy who almost fainted after walking past the rhino exhibit ha ha! Cherise also got to pat a rabbit for the first time at the Pets Corner at the Rainforest Kidzworld... If we had known that they have a water play area there, we would have brought our swim gear along.

Sadly, we didn't get to watch any of the animal shows this time round. I'm sure Cherise would be thrilled to see what the elephants can do. For our next visit, I must be sure to plan the itinery properly so that we canmake the best of our time there. Oh, and next time, I won't even bother bringing a stroller...cos' this super duper zoo has EVERYTHING!

We left about 2pm, just as Cherise was getting tired and needed her afternoon nap. Jas says if we want to do this again, we should do it really soon cos' once David comes, we'll have to say bye bye to family excursions for a while. Yah man...better start to "chop" for the membership card again soon!

Here's a pic of happy Daddy and Mommy with a clearly tired Cherise.
Family
For more pics of our outing, check out my Flickr Photo Page.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

3 Years Already???

That was the thought that came to our minds as we were wondering how long it has been since we said our vows at the altar. Jasmine said it felt like only 2 years, probably because we did not celebrate our anniversary last year as I was away on an overseas exercise then. To make it up to her, I decided to celebrate the 3 years of our union over 2 days, one day by ourselves and the other with Cherise.

Jas's mom was available to babysit for us yesterday, so we took the advantage to do stuff that we usually would not be able to do if Cherise was with us. It was a simple affair - movie followed by dinner at the most baby unfriendly place we could find.

The Movie

For the first time in our lives, we stepped into Golden Village Cinema's Gold Class at Vivocity. When I stepped into the theatre, I was in total awe...it was quite embarrassing for Jas because I could not contain my excitement and kept playing with the seats - they can be reclined fully till you're literally watching the movie lying down - and they provide blankets! And man were the seats comfortable! We wanted to watch Red Cliff 2 initially but they didn't have it at the time that we wanted, so we settled for The Changeling instead. Jas commented later that considering the frequency of our visits to the movies (which is like erm...NEVER! The last time we watched a movie was when Jas was expecting Cherise!), we might as well go for Gold Class everytime. I totally agree.

The Dinner
Though still semi-full with popcorn and tortilla chips, we needed to take our dinner early to make it back in time to pick Cherise up (sigh...and you'd think that we're past the age of curfews). We chanced upon Tajimaya Yakiniku / Shabuya, a 2-in-1 concept restaurant at level 1. It's basically 2 restaurants operating under the same roof - One side offers BBQ, and the other steamboat - Japanese style. I was captivated by the Aussie Beef promotion so we went for the BBQ. Good thing that Cherise was not with us cos' we had to cook everything ourselves over a super hot charcoal grill...
Charcoal GrillIT's really hot man!
For the price of the meal, we didn't expect the spread to be so good...the economy must really be bad for them to offer so much for that price. Here's what we had:
The feastThe whole spread.
Aussie BeefTwo cuts of beef...the thin one tastes like Bak Kwa.
Chicken and PorkChicken thigh and Kurubuta.
VegVeg
PrawnsShrimp
SaladSalad
TempuraTempura
Ice-creamIce-cream
We tried our best to finish everything but it was simply overwhelming...
Left oversWe hate to waste food but what to do...we were simply...
Stuffed...too stuffed!

Alas, like Cinderella, we had a curfew to follow (8pm!!!) so we went wee wee wee all the way home to our little princess. Though our date was short, we enjoyed it totally. Hopefully we'll have more of these when our kids are a little more independent.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Transitioning

We've gotten Cherise her own bed!

It's sandwiched between the wall and our bed so she can't roll off but she can climb safely onto our bed if she needs us.




We finally put those cot bumpers to good use!


Lots of padding for those wooden edges... Cherise is an active sleeper!


I resisted the idea of her moving out of our bed for the longest time. With the new baby coming, I didn't want her to feel that we were moving her out and someone else in. My initial plans were to have Cherise still sleep with us on our bed and the new baby in the cosleeper, but a few things made me change my mind:
1. Cherise is a very active sleeper. She turns perpendicular in her sleep, and when we adjust her position at night (because we cannot tahan the foot on our face/neck) she stirs in her sleep. So we figure she needs more space.
2. I imagine that nursing a newborn in the same bed where she's sleeping is risky - might wake her up with all the movement etc.
3. I won't have any space to nurse the newborn lying down.

Conclusion: we've decided to make the transition now instead of later when the baby arrives.

I'm so glad that she's taken to the new bed really well. Last night was her first night and she slept all the way from 11.30pm to 7am without stirring. I woke up a few times in the night to check on her, make sure she's not cold etc, and I found her turned perpendicular again, but since there was plenty of space in her own bed, I left her like that and just shifted her blanket so she wouldn't get cold. And this afternoon, we all took a three-hour nap - she in her bed, and us in ours.

I was expecting some crying, but it turns out my little girl's more ready for this than I am. No tears upon waking, only an eagerness to climb onto our bed to nurse and reconnect with me, it seems. No waking mid-sleep missing mommy contact. She knows it's her bed - we ask her, "Where's baby's bed?" And she responds, "There! Baby bed," pointing in the right direction. She loves clambering to and from her bed - we've taught her, "Crawl, no running," and to watch out for the wall. We bought more doh dohs to make the bed cozy, but she didn't want them - she tossed them all out the first day. Good - she gets to have a say in how she wants her bed to be.

I think we, the parents, are having more difficulty making this change than she is. I usually cuddle her when I put her down after she's nursed off to sleep, but with her in her own bed, I can't do that anymore. Adrian won't let me go onto her bed - he says I'm too heavy. So I got a bit teary last night. Missed a little warm body and a certain baby smell. Felt sorry for my poor little baby who wouldn't get cuddled. Then I felt sorry for myself because I couldn't cuddle.

But despite my emo-ness, I wasn't the one to cave first. Today, we had this conversation before our nap -
Adrian: You can put her on our bed if you want.
Me: Why? You miss her?
Adrian: A bit.
Me: A bit?
Adrian: A bit.
Me: A bit or a lot?
Adrian: A lot...


Feeling lonely and emo right now. Adrian is at work, and my little girl is in her own bed sleeping soundly. My king-sized bed is suddenly really big and empty. Oh well, I suppose I'd better try to enjoy the space while I have it - it's going to get pretty crowded again in three months' time!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dr Jekyll and Miss Hyde

There's an old nursery rhyme that goes:

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad
She was horrid!


Ok, I'm not saying Cherise is horrid, but she was very bad today! We planned to go to Ikea this morning to pick up a bed for Cherise (more about this in another post). We thought it would be a fun outing - having a mission and all, plus Cherise likes to play with the many toys at the Children's section. But she was in some kind of weird mood today - so difficult to handle! She didn't want to sit properly in the taxi, she didn't want to sit in the high chair, she didn't want daddy to carry, she didn't want to nurse, she didn't want to play, she didn't want to eat - all she wanted was "Mammy, baobao, go go", but go go where? I don't know. We thought maybe she was cranky because she was tired and needed a nap, but her behaviour didn't improve even after she woke up from her nap. Strangers who simply looked at her would send her into a frenzy - "Nononononono!" It was so terrible that we cut our outing short. We actually planned to stay out the whole day, moving on to other places after Ikea, but I was so drained by noon that I just wanted to go home and stay home the rest of the day.

Once we got home, she morphed into another person! She played with her toys, ran from room to room (without us!), watched TV and danced along, fed herself banana, fed us banana, let daddy change and bathe and feed her while I went to poop - just a totally different little girl! And her behaviour was so much improved that we decided to venture out to United Square because I wanted her to get her hair cut.

So at 7pm we left home, reached United Square, had dinner at Jack's Place - and she was an angel! She was so friendly, waving at waiters and waitresses and strangers we met. She sat happily in her high chair and ate her porridge, fed herself (and us) porridge, played a bit with some ice, and when our food came, we took turns to eat and she was quite content with either of us, even letting go of our hands to run around the open spaces outside the restaurant. She was happy in the pram, and when we rewarded her with kiddy rides, she didn't fuss when we wanted her to come off the ride. And to top it all, when we brought her for her haircut at Junior League, she sat and watched the Barney video, and though she kept giving slightly disturbed glances at the hairdresser, she didn't cry at all! And that's a first! On the way back, she fell asleep in the taxi - she didn't ask to nurse, she didn't fuss at all, she just closed her eyes and fell asleep. And we couldn't rouse her! I didn't want her to sleep because I wanted to give her hair a rinse before bedtime, but since she was so soundly asleep, we changed her diaper and clothes and let her be.

I'm so amazed at the two different Cherises I saw today. What made the difference? Maybe it was the time spent with us at home. Maybe she just needed to be somewhere familiar where she could hang loose and play a bit, connect with her parents, snuggle a bit... And even though none of us slept during the afternoon hours at home, we all felt rejuvenated in that short time. That's great, I think - exactly what home should be. A place to rest, relax and recharge. And the fact that Cherise feels the same way means that we have, in some measure, succeeded in creating a home for her.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I Need To Solve This Mystery...

3 a.m. and I'm too keyed up to sleep. A bit awake because I've just completed a tough task - changed Cherise's poopy diapers. At night. While she's asleep. Without her waking. And all by myself because hubby's pulling a night shift.

It's amazing how attuned I've become to Cherise's bodily functions, i.e. she poops at night and I manage to wake up, mid-dream, because my nose recognises Cherise-poop-smell. (By the way, this goes for Cherise-pee-smell as well.)

And my nose has certainly been put to the test this week.

***

Tuesday, 1 a.m.: Adrian and I are horrified to discover our little girl has pooped in her sleep. We put a screaming Cherise (who was angry at being awakened) onto the changing table, and I change her while Adrian tries to soothe her (without success) and halfway through it all she poops some more, and then tearfully announces, "All done, all done!" I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Tuesday, 8 a.m.: I wake up to Cherise-poop-smell - she's asleep but she's pooped again. We change her, with a lot less crying this time, and then conclude that something's not right. So off to the doc we go.

Tuesday, 10 a.m.: At the doctor's. We've just seen the doc the day before for Cherise's pneumococcal jab, so I'm thinking, maybe this pooping is a side effect from the vaccine. The stools are a little loose - not really watery, just a little slushier than usual. Doc gives us loperamide for diarrhoea and abdominal pain, and some probiotics. But Cherise doesn't poo for the rest of the day - appears totally normal actually, so we hold the medication and conclude it was a one-off thing and we overreacted.

Wednesday, 1 a.m.: We are watching a movie in bed when we hear little grunting noises from Cherise's corner. We look at each other helplessly, and put away the movie with a sigh. More screaming as we change her and I have to nurse her back to sleep.

Wednesday, 8 a.m.: Poop while asleep again. Why am I not surprised anymore...

***

And so it's been like that the past week. She's been having slushy stools, 3 to 5 times a day since Tuesday. And she will do a night time poop while asleep. This is strange because prior to this, Cherise was really regular - she'd do a nice big one once a day and that would be it. We've tried the loperamide. No change in the consistency of stools, nor improvement in frequency. Probiotics and yogurt aren't helping. Dietary changes are useless. I have no idea what's going on.

She's not sick. She's not in pain, and there's no fever or vomiting. Plus, 3 times a day doesn't quite constitute diarrhoea, does it?

Is it the jab? Diarrhoea is one of the side effects listed for the pneumococcal vaccine. But then, it's been so many days already - and it doesn't explain the night poop!

My helper thinks it could be teething - I'm quite inclined to agree. Cherise's bottom molars are coming out - they're huge! The right side's almost completely out, and the left looks really bumpy - I can practically see the white tips beneath the gums. Dr. Sears calls it drool diarrhoea, I think. But again, why the night poop? Why doesn't she go more during the day???!!

It's like, out of 3 poops a day, she'll do 2 asleep and 1 awake. Hm.

I can deal with slushy day time poops, but the night time ones are really stressing me. I'm afraid to go to sleep, because I'm scared I'll miss it and not wake up and she'll sleep through the night with the dirty diaper. Thankfully my nose hasn't failed me so far. I'm afraid of touching her in her sleep - afraid if I do, then she'll get roused from deep sleep and do a poop. I wake up many, many times at night to reassure myself that her diaper is still poop-free. And I was really stressed when Adrian went off to work this evening, because if it happened (and it did), I would have to deal with it alone.

Thank God He gives me the strength (and ability!) to get through this night. How wonderful - she didn't even wake up when I changed her! No screaming baby this time! But really, I hope this stops soon. I tell you - there will be much rejoicing in this household the day we see a nice big solid poop in her diaper again. Until then, I'm just going to have to try harder to solve this mystery...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Preggie Diary: Crossing Over and Other Random Thoughts

Just the other day, a friend asked me if I was in my third trimester yet. I replied that I didn't know because I couldn't remember when the third trimester actually started. But it hardly makes any difference whether the last leg starts at 26 weeks, or 27 weeks, or 28 weeks, because to me, my body's already left the blissful second trimester and crossed over.

It all started on new year's eve. While most of my friends were busy ushering in the new year (including hubby who was at watchnight service), I was stuck at home. It was a bit depressing not to be able to attend watchnight with hubby, but I had to stay home because it was a logistical nightmare to take Cherise along. And as I went about the usual routine of feeding her, playing with her, changing her diaper, bathing her etc, for the first time since I got pregnant, I found it hard. Suddenly, my belly was in the way of everything. Bending to pick up toys was difficult. I caught my reflection in the kitchen door and realised I was no longer walking, but waddling. My belly put me further away from the changing table than I was comfortable with. And while bathing her, I suddenly found my shower stall way, way too small.

It's been deceptively easy, till now. I thought I was stronger this time round - thought maybe looking after Cherise had conditioned my body to be tougher. Sure, I experienced a few aches and pains, but hey - I could walk longer, carry more, do more things this time round. But that's over, for sure,

As we all left 2008 behind and crossed over into 2009, I've crossed over into whale-land as well.

Of course I wasn't that naive to think it would be easy all the way. But what my mind can't really accept is how suddenly it all happened. Like, everything was fine and usual one day, and then the next, so different and difficult. What happened to gradual changes?

Suddenly,
all my comfy spaghetti-strapped tops decide to start revealing a tantalising belly swatch below.
amorous activities are no longer fun because my belly makes it hard to breathe.
clapping and moving on stage at church threatens to create an embarrassing scene because I get thrown off-balance.
all the doorways in my home are too narrow.


And to top everything off, my darling princess is teething her molars. So everything familiar and comfortable gets thrown out the window. She doesn't want to drink her milk - any milk. She wants to nurse five times a day. She doesn't want to nurse to sleep, only before she tosses and turns for 45 minutes to sleep. She wakes up at 6am asking to drink water - but I think it's to play with the straw because rubbing it against her gums provides some comfort. She wants me to baobao all the time - even at home, even when there's no one else at home but me. She cries out at night, "No, no, mommy, mommy", leaving me in distress, but her eyes aren't even open and she can't be soothed, so I stay awake while she tosses and turns for the better part of an hour till she falls asleep again.

So, my prayer for this new year is for strength. Strength to infuse aching and tired arms and legs. Strength for the long nights alone. Strength to stay patient instead of losing my temper in frustration and fatigue. Strength to stay smiley and positive through physical and mental weariness. Strength to get out of bed in the morning when I would much rather snuggle up and continue sleeping. Strength to continue doing my best to mother my baby and baby-to-come.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Blessed New Year!

Jasmine was in a "let's-get-out-of-the-house-and-stay-out-the-whole-day" mood on New Year's Day, so like any smart husband, I gave in despite the fact that I really didn't want to fight through the crowd on a public holiday. We made our way to Marina Square and to our pleasant surprise, it was not as bad as I thought it would be.

We didn't know what we wanted to do, it was really a go with the flow thing. So we ended up eating...eating...and eating! How so? Here's what happened:

When we arrived at MS at about 11am, Cherise was due for her pre-lunch snack. She was also getting a little cranky because it was time for her nap. We decided to make ourselves comfortable at Gloria Jeans where Cherise can have her babycino and quiche while Jas and I can have our much needed cuppa. However, it turned out that her royal highness was a little too cranky to eat so we had to let her have her nap first and hope that she'll sleep for at least 2 hours before she wakes up for lunch. While she was sleeping, Jas and I got hungry so we ate some sandwiches and the quiche that was originally meant for Cherise.

Cherise was actually sleeping pretty well for about 45 mins or so till this bunch of inconsiderate ladies started screaming and laughing at the top of their voices (knowing full well that there were a couple of sleeping babies nearby). They made no effort to tone down their voices and soon enough, Cherise woke up much earlier than expected - and hungry... So we had no choice but to find a place for lunch. We decided on Pasta de Waraku because every child gets a free toy - to distract them while their parents eat! I think the restaurant is really smart, the toys are inexpensive, and it works! The service is also excellent no matter how busy it is. It's no wonder they are almost always crowded. Anyway, Jas was too full to eat so I ordered a meal for myself while she fed Cherise.

After lunch we decided to do some baby shopping for David and then get some Pigeon baby food from John Little for Cherise, just in case we intended to have dinner out. They were having a members' sale there so the queue to the cashier was ridiculously long. As expected, the queen mother got hungry and left me to pay for our purchases while she went around hunting for a place to eat. She finally decided to satisfy her burger cravings and settled for Burger King. By the time I got there, she was almost done but Cherise was hungry after seeing her mommy munching on her burger so it was time to feed her some grapes. She finished the entire container of grapes but was visibly still hungry for more, so we decided to get her some red bean pancake and soy milk from Jollibean.

After buying the stuff from Jollibean, we needed a place to rest our legs but there were no empty benches in sight, so I suggested that we should just head over to the Ritz Carlton for tea instead. Wah...you should have seen how I kena left right center from the Queen Mother because now she had no more room for tea (especially after she saw the buffet spread)! We went ahead anyway because the spread was too good for me to resist. We paid for 2 even though Jas didn't eat much...next time must go back and wack big time to make up for it. The iced tea there is really good...the ice cubes they put into the tea is actually frozen iced erm...tea, so you don't end up with some overly diluted iced tea over time. Sorry I forgot to take pictures of the food, but here's Cherise enjoying her waffles...
Waffle_4
Waffle_1
Waffle_2
Yum Yum...

There goes my New Year's resolution of losing weight... better start buying new pants! Anyway, I bet I'll make up for it when David comes ha ha! Have a Blessed 2009 Everyone!

Cherise
Cherise and Mommy
Cherise and Daddy