Face the Facts Fats...Vol 1

My waistline is getting bigger...very much bigger. I have a total of 4 pairs of denim jeans but I can only fit into 2 of them. Last month, I could fit into all my 3 pairs of khakis. This month, I have only 1 pair which I can wear comfortably without feeling faint due to lack of blood circulation. Even my uniform makes my already sexy butt look even sexier. Belts are no longer necessary, if I do wear them, it's just to complete the outfit. I dread serving on weekends not because I'm not prepared but because I can't fit into my suit.

Jas says that I refuse to buy new pants cos' I'm in denial - she thinks that I think that if I buy new clothes it means that I am acknowledging that I've passed the point of no return! Actually....she may be right. I don't believe I cannot lose the extra inches. I really must start exercising soon. It's not that I haven't been trying though...everytime I feel the urge to go for a run, something always comes up. Either it rains, or Jas needs help with Cherise. So I try the other method, eat less. Recently I found myself skipping lunch cos' I simply have no time to eat, but it didn't work cos' by the time I get home, I'm so hungry that I compensate by having seconds, so I end up putting on even more weight. Sheesh....

Maybe it's the PPL effect ha ha ha (those in CM will know what I mean)! Well...at least there's more cushion for Cherise when she runs to hug me.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


I'm on leave for the next couple of days so I'm taking Jas and Cherise to the former Pulau Belakang Mati for a short retreat. If we don't return your calls...you know why muah ha ha!

The ridiculous things we say - Instalment 1

Scene: Over dinner, spoken to Adrian's mom.

Jas: Baby's moving a lot more now. Sometimes I can feel my belly make a wave.
Adr: My belly does that every time I do the Dino Dance [from Barney]. (Demos)Shake your dino tail, shake shake.....

*******

Scene: Lying in bed, staring at ceiling, trying to sleep.

Jas: Do you feel like doing it*?
Adr: No. Why? Do you?
Jas: Yah. I'm bored.

2 minutes later.
Jas: Do you ever feel like doing it just because you're bored?
Adr: (incredulous) No..
Jas: (resignedly) Sigh. You're so boring. No wonder I'm so bored...

*: Language has been edited for younger readers.

*******

Scene: Cherise is watching Barney and we are watching her.

Adr: She is such a drama queen.. maybe she'll be an actress when she grows up.
Jas: Yah, the next Zoe Tay.
Adr: Zoe Tay only popular in Singapore leh.
Jas: Well, at least she's prettier than Fann Wong.
Adr: Zhang Ziyi then.
Jas: No lar! Zhang Ziyi not pretty. I know! Maggie Q!.
Adr: Why can't she just be herself??!!

*******

Preggie Diary: Halfway mark!

I'm 20 weeks today! Halfway mark! Woohoo!

Currently sick though. It started with the bak kwa. Ate too much of it. Then a sore throat. And a cough that night. Followed by two days of runny nose and sneezing and coughing.

It's been a hectic weekend. Adrian's grandmother celebrated her 83rd birthday just this Saturday, so we had a good time with family followed by dinner. And then on Sunday, we had to serve in church, where I croaked along with the rest of the team. Today, my nose is less runny, but still blocked, and my throat is really scratchy. I don't even recognise my own voice. Cherise is currently at United Square with my parents, who are probably spoiling her this moment by donating bucketloads of dollar coins to the Barney kiddy ride machine. I thought to take the opportunity to get some much-needed rest but couldn't sleep because of my nose and throat.

Little David has been moving around more these few days. His movements are now strong enough to be felt by a hand on my tummy. Last night, just as we were settling to sleep, I felt him move and I quickly placed Adrian's hand over my tummy. For this pregnancy, Adrian hasn't had the chance to really feel significant baby movements yet, so I thought he'd be quite thrilled. But instead he mumbled, "Mmmm. Dear, sorry, I really need to sleep now else cannot work tomorrow." Snore.

Ok. Ah well. Such is the difference between the first and the second, I suppose.

Preggie Diary: Not again..

[Current mood: Sore. As in sore throat. Been eating too much Bak Kwa. Got Bak Kwa craving.]

Our detailed scan on Monday was reassuring - little David was growing well, estimated to weigh 256g (which is awfully little compared to the 3kg I've gained so far!!), no anomalies detected and head was down. He wasn't very active (unlike Cherise!) and stayed curled up for quite a bit, so the sonographer had to wiggle my belly to try to get him to spread out.

I suppose the only thing which kind of troubled me a bit was the position of the placenta. The placenta is anterior (front of the womb) - which is fine and nothing to worry about, except for the fact that babies tend to face their placentae, which means there's a higher chance I'll end up with a posterior baby. Again.

But I'm committing it to God and trusting Him to position my baby appropriately. After all, women with posterior placentae have posterior babies too, so it could go either way.

Anyway, does anyone know where to get a birth ball in Singapore? I want hubby to get me one for Christmas. I can just imagine Cherise being so thrilled with it too. "Ball, ball! Big ball!" *grin*

It's a Boy!

Listen folks, Intelligender really works! We went for our detailed scan yesterday and true enough, we're going to have a boy. And unlike with Cherise, we're not going to withhold his name from everyone. This is because God spoke to us in our dreams and told us, "And you shall call him David"....NAH!!! It's simply because I've always wanted to call my son David, even before I got married. Plus it's the name of my favourite bible character.

Actually, Jas wanted to call him Nathaniel cos' it was a name that popped into her head out of no where, but we figured that since my Dad already has problems pronouncing Cherise's name (he still calls her Cherish), he may just end up calling my son Na Da Niu - "take a big cow" when translated in mandarin. Anyway, I'm just glad that Jas (as ditzy as she is now) did not attempt to come up with a ridiculous name like "Pilot Inspektor" or something.

So David it shall be...my one and only Beloved son...for now...

Some baby news - Cherise

I realise that when I use the word "baby" these days, I've got to specify which one. Heh. Haven't been posting about Cherise for a while so here are some updates..

Our little social butterfly
Cherise's aversion to strangers has been a source of stress to me for quite some time. We first realised our little girl was different when a stranger came up to her when she was just two months old, and her little mouth turned upside down. We thought, "Babies of this age aren't supposed to feel stranger anxiety," but that's our little girl for you. Doesn't take well to new places and new people. She does terribly in large family gatherings - well, in not-so-large family gatherings too. I recognise that every baby is different, but I couldn't help but wish that she weren't so extreme and intense in her dislike of strangers who aren't quite strangers - aka extended family members.

But it's been getting better. Just yesterday at church, she surprised us by hugging people that she's never interacted with much before. And today when we went to visit Adrian's grandmother and aunt, she did her usual crying thing for ten minutes, and then warmed up considerably, so that by the end of the visit, she was hugging and kissing everyone and didn't want to leave.

I'm so thankful she's becoming more sociable. I know she's loved lots by our extended family, and it must have been hard for them when she wouldn't even tolerate them looking at her. And I feel thankful too, that they didn't stop loving her, even going to extreme measures like using a mirror to catch her antics since she wouldn't let them look at her directly.

Our water baby
Cherise loves swimming! We all had to attend Adrian's command family day at the Civil Service Club at Bukit Batok, which I wasn't keen on going to actually (having better things to do like sleep in on a Saturday morning!), but we decided to make the best of it. We brought her swimming gear (and Adrian's too) so she could play a while in the pool.

Here are some pictures of her frolicking in the water. The pictures aren't too good since silly me forgot to bring the camera. She's wearing her new swimsuit for the first time!









I was really regretting not bringing my swim gear along. She was having so much fun and I could only stand by the edge and take photos. Vain lah - didn't want people to see me in a swimsuit. Anyway, we'll be visiting the club more often as Adrian managed to get one year's membership free of charge. It's so near our place and we really like the pools - there are many different small pools there, even a water slide!

Baby likes nursery!
She's really taken to the nursery programme at church. Of course she still has to be accompanied by Larlar so she doesn't cry, but she likes the environment and enjoys the activities. She came back this week with this:



It's supposed to be a boat. With pictures of animals stuck on it (teacher did it, of course). Noah's ark. Cute eh? Cherise likes her boat, and will point to the different animals, naming them and making their sounds. I think we should start enrolling her in some playgroup soon. Maybe when Babyloh No. 2 arrives, so at least it ensures I block out some alone time with Cherise.

Well, that's all we have at the moment. Here's a lovely pic of Cherise to end off - she's at the playground in our HDB cluster. I've finally relaxed my dirt-and-germs rule. I figure she's old enough now and well, like my mother says, a little bit of dirt won't kill!

Good News!

Sorry to keep you on tenterhooks - been a bit busy so no time to update this -



Yes, he passed! Completed the test in 20 minutes too! So proud of him!

Don't dehumanise me.

Why is it so difficult to admit that we are less than perfect beings? That we sometimes get tempted, that sometimes we feel the very human emotions of tiredness, loneliness, longing?

Just because I say I get tired, just because I say sometimes I'm tempted to be selfish, does that mean I'm not right with God? Does it mean I don't have my values in the right place? Does it mean *gasp* I don't trust God in all things?

Let me explain. My husband's work schedule is crazy. I hate it. On weekends we serve in church. Both of us. Sometimes I'm drained. No, make that many times I'm drained. I wish he were around more. So sometimes do I feel selfish? Yes. Sometimes do I wish he had less on his plate, workwise and churchwise? Yes. Sometimes do I wish he would say "no" instead of always saying "yes"? Yes.

But do we stop doing what we do? No. Is it tough? You bet!

That's called sacrifice. A sacrifice that comes from obedience.

What would you have me do? We still serve cheerfully, yes we do. I still sleepily kiss him goodbye when he leaves in the morning for his 24 hour work shifts. But when it's late at night and I miss him, or when I've had a tough day without him and I'm facing a tough night ahead, or when I'm out with my family and everyone has his/her spouse with him/her except me, am I allowed to feel a little wistful? Am I allowed to feel a little longing? Am I allowed to feel a little lonely?

You can spiritualise everything. But don't dehumanise me.

Passed!

Ok ok. We admit it. We are slackers. Our youth has come and gone in a haze of hedonistic days and now, almost hitting the big three-oh, with one child and another one on the way, we still haven't gotten our driver's licences.

But all that's going to change!

I went for my Basic Theory Test today. A bit self-conscious of my belly bulge, so I wore something nice and loose to cover it up. Didn't want to hear anyone make the comment, "Pregnant still want to take licence," (which is what my parents think, by the way).

It took 15 minutes. And ta-dah!



First hurdle cleared. Easy peasy.

So yahyah right? Studying and scoring in written exams has never been a problem for me. But watch me sweat once I actually get behind the wheel. Part of the reason why I've put this off for so long is that I seriously doubt I am capable of driving a car. It's so scary out there. I don't want to get a licence and then become one of those drivers who give women a bad name on the roads.

But it's got to be done. I think having babies is a great motivator - gets us off our lazy bums to do the things we've been putting off for so long. Interestingly, we're not the only ones rushing to get a licence before the baby arrives - I saw this sign as I was leaving the building:



What an awful term. Pregnant Learner. Eww. Got to ask my doc about that certification letter when I see him on Monday.

And in case you're wondering, the hubby isn't slacking anymore either. He's currently at the driving centre, due to take his Advanced Theory Test in, well, 25 minutes. He's the exact opposite of me, I think. Written exams scare him. He turns into this monster (like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde) because he gets so stressed. But I have faith in him. (I'll just pray really hard for the next hour...!) Go Hunny! I hope to be able to post more good news later on today!

Chill Out @ Grill Out!

It was our 2 years and 9 months anniversary last Wednesday, so we arranged for Jas's parents to look after Cherise for a few hours so that we can spend some alone time with each other. Nights out like that don't come often so we decided to seize the opportunity and go somewhere not so baby friendly.

My cousin-in-law manages Grill-Out!, a cosy little steakhouse at Sunset Way which has gotten pretty rave reviews by food critics. I've been wanting to try it out ever since my dad and the entire Loh clan went down for dinner earlier this year. We couldn't make it then cos' Cherise was still very young and the place wasn't exactly baby friendly.

The ambience is really nice, you tend to forget that you are actually dining at an HDB estate.

This link gives a very accurate description of the restaurant so I will not repeat what's in it. But we absolutely have to tell you about the food to do justice to Jon (my cousin-in-law) and his team! To say that this place is a meat lover's heaven is an understatement. If you want good quality meat at affordable prices, there is no better place. Their primary business is in fresh meat/seafood wholesale (they supply to hotels) so everything is fresh, juicy and tender.

Everything in the menu looked good but we could not eat afford everything, so we had to settle for these:

Starters
1) Grilled Ox tongue
2) Grilled Kobe short rib
Sorry, no pictures for these 2 items because we were so eager to eat that we forgot to take pictures. But trust me...they were heavenly! The Ox tongue was thinly sliced and grilled with salt and pepper and served with BBQ sauce. The texture was a little like grilled calamari, only that it's a lot thinner.
The Kobe beef short rib (no bones) was substantial enough to be a main course. It was almost like eating mini pieces of Kobe tenderloin...soooo...juicy and tender.The meat literally melts in your mouth and you don't even need to chew much. Oh, and did I mention that it was sooooo juicy?!?!

In-between Starters and Main course
Jon surprised us with one of their signature cuts - the Kurobuta pork shoulder.

Now, Kurobuta means Japanese black hog and it's prized as much as Kobe Beef. According to Jon, it's really a pork that wants to be a beef and I can see why. It's just as tender and it does not taste like regular pork. In fact, it tastes a lot better that $10 "airflown" sirloin steak you get at the food courts.

Main Courses
For Him - Black Angus Tenderloin

This was one of the best pieces of tenderloin I've ever sunk my teeth in. So good that you don't need any sauces to go with it. The best thing about this place is that all their meats are lightly seasoned with only salt and pepper so get to taste the original flavour. And they are all grilled over the charcoal flame so you get that natural smokey taste. In my opinion, that's the best way to have your steak cos' it's the real deal.

For Her - BBQ Pork Ribs

I managed to dissuade Jas from ordering the Yellowtail Cheek (That's fish, people!!!) even though it looked really good! Anyway, the ribs were really soft and tender, you could just tear it off and eat it. However, by the time it came, we were so stuffed that we could only finish half the rack. So we had to pack the rest to go.

When we thought that we've survived a night of gluttony, Jon brought out another surprise for us...a selection of desserts not from his menu but from the cafe called Peaberry just next door...

For once, I could not finish my sweets...but Jas lapped them all up!


So for all meat lovers out there...Grill Out! is a definate must try. They are opened for lunch and dinner everyday except for Mondays. Do make a reservation if you wanna go during the weekends for dinner, they are usually quite packed. I'm gonna make a return visit soon...still craving for the Kobe Short Ribs!!!

Preggie Diary: Weird dreams and other thoughts

I dreamt of my baby last night. Or rather, I dreamt I gave birth to twin girls. Both had no hair, were rather short (47 cm long) but were quite fat. If dreams are the opposite of what's going to happen, does it mean I'll have one hairy boy who's rather tall, and not-so-fat?

Anyway, I think the reason why I had this weird dream was because I couldn't get to sleep last night and was reading all sorts of pregnancy-related articles on the internet. I came across this article which I thought was really cool.

Having gone through a labour that was full of interventions, leaving me feeling totally out of control (imagine: the doc didn't even tell me she was going to break my waters before she did it), I really really want this birth to be different. We've switched doctors - our obstetrician is Dr Paul Tseng whom I picked because he's known to be more pro-natural - but what I secretly desire is to be able to give birth at home.

I don't want to be confined to a bed while I'm in labour. Don't want to have to lie on my back, which was so uncomfortable the last time round. I don't want the bright lights, the horrible hospital gown, and most of all - I don't want stirrups!

I want to labour in the comfort of my home, to be able to snuggle in my bed if I so choose, to have the room dim so I can try to rest, to shower if I feel it will help and to chase everyone out of the room when I need to be alone.

Hardly anyone in Singapore ever gets to have a homebirth (planned and attended by a trained midwife). It's just not done here. Maybe too many of us women have lost the confidence that our bodies were made to have children. Even I have my doubts when I think about it further. Little thoughts sneak in. Thoughts like, "What if something goes wrong? What if I can't do it?"

So it's going to be the hospital again for us. Maybe this time it will be vastly different - after all, we got a good doctor. And now I know what I absolutely don't want so I won't be such a pushover this time round. Plus, we've got a plan. We're going to wait as long as possible before we head to the hospital. So I can just go there and push the baby out. Hooray! Target: half an hour in the labour ward! Haha!

Preggie Diary: It's not the same thing this time round.

I'm a little blue today. Found a varicose vein on my inner thigh. It's bulging and blue and looks absolutely awful.

My body's not taking this pregnancy too well, I think. I know all the literature states that every pregnancy is different - but really, my body seems to be in complete upheaval this time round.

I didn't really have any skin problems the first time round - no breakouts, only perhaps an increased sensitivity to my usual facial cleanser which was resolved once I changed products - but this pregnancy's got my face looking like the "Pacific Ring of Fire". Little volcanoes erupting all along the hairline. And on my neck. And on my ears.

And I've got dry patches on my body - I'm not telling where! - and no amount of shea butter or whatever moisturiser seems to do anything to make it better.

And my hair! I wash my hair daily with my usual shampoo and my scalp's still perpetually oily.

But all that's just external. My morning sickness, while thankfully subsided somewhat, hasn't gone away totally. I get horribly carsick. Cooking smells make me want to throw up. And I have food aversions. A lot of food aversions. Don't want to eat seafood. Or garlic. Or red meat. Don't like ice cream. Milk doesn't go down well. Curry is too spicy. Soya sauce too salty. Desserts too sweet. Yah, I have food aversions. As in to food in general.

Only thing I feel like eating is fish. But can't eat fish now! Not after the unagi incident!

I injured my tailbone during my first pregnancy. Coughed so hard during an illness that I injured it. Hurt for the remainder of that pregnancy. It never really recovered after childbirth, as it would still be a little sensitive when I sit in a bad position for some time and try to get up. But the pain's coming back in full force - I had trouble getting up from the couch just now. And I'm only 17 weeks along. Does that mean it's going to hurt for the rest of the 23 weeks left?? I can't bear to think of it.

But it's not all bad I guess. I'm emotionally more stable this time round. Less needy, less insecure of Adrian's love. After all, he's seen me in labour and through childbirth! I can't possibly look worse than that! I think our relationship is much better than during my first time. We don't argue so much. Maybe he knows what to expect and which buttons not to press. Maybe I don't cling so much, don't read so much into his grumps and mumps. There's less of that restless energy too. I'm more relaxed. Less anxious. Less busy. More lazy. More peaceful and restful.

I do pray that one thing will be different though - that this baby will position himself nicely for an easy delivery. Cherise was stuck in the OP position - she never turned and was born facing up. Labour was long and slow to progress - I still remember 3 hours of contractions coming every 5 minutes or less, no pain relief, not even gas, and only progressing 0.5 cm in that time! Don't want to think about going through that again.

So, I'm 17 weeks today. Not feeling so good at the moment.

A glimpse into the future

My little Cherise came back from nursery yesterday with homework!! When I went to pick her up after service, the helper at the counter presented me with this:


I was a bit baffled at first, and I asked him, "What's this?" He replied, "Oh, it's her homework."

My darling's only 15 and a half months old and she's got homework!

It's so cute.

Nobody expects her to do it, of course. The other side of the paper's got a short bible story which I will read to her since she likes reading so much. And then, maybe I will frame it up. Or put it in my scrapbook. "Baby's first homework assignment".

There'll be plenty more to come in the future. And I think it won't be quite as cute, or funny, then. There may be stuff that I might end up doing for with her. But that's then. For now, I'm just going to laugh at the fact that my poor little baby, who can't even hold a crayon properly, has got homework!